fine ENGLISH chocolate

ATTENTION: these are NOT M&Ms. They are SMARTIES. It's a crucial distinction.

(Apologies to any Brits reading. You, of course, already know this full well, having grown up on Smarties and don't need anyone to tell you, least of all me.)

It's not really possible here to explain just what makes Smarties so different (some might even go so far as to say "better") than M&Ms. I recommend you just get hold of a packet (or box or tube) of Smarties instantly without further ado. And sample these Fine British Smarties for yourself (CAUTION: accept no imitations--make sure they're really Smarties and really British) and I think you'll see what I mean. (The best place to find them in the States are either in British shops or in Blighty herself--smuggling them back in your suitcase by the bunch-fulls apparently, as some people I know do, so I'm told, I gather, as far as I can tell)

Here's a very sensible article all about this very thing (it's what I've been telling my friends for years to no avail)--all about how Fine British Chocolate really is (from the New York Times no less, so it must be true): click here

Before you go, though, here's some other Fine Lovely British Chocolates.

This concludes Part 1 in my "Chocolate Series." Stay tuned for Part 2 where I will dedicate an entire blog to Maltesers (not pictured above and my own personal favorite) because they merit it, so much mystery surrounds them, and such terrible confusion exists in the States about exactly what they are. All you need to hold on to right now, and most important of all, is this: they are NOT, under any circumstances come what may EVER, Malted Milk Balls (anymore than Smarties are M&Ms). It would be wise not to forget this.

Moo Moo and Ya Ya

THIS JUST IN FROM OUR INTREPID CORRESPONDENT IN LONDON, SAM THE TIGER (caught below--unusually without Tiger Disguise):

Moo Moo and Ya Ya have been spotted over the Atlantic Ocean and are believed to be winging their way to New York City even as we speak. They are wearing their famous Helicopter Hats (as seen above in S-T-T's brilliant rendering). What they plan to do when they arrive is anyone's guess. But you may be sure, whatever it is, it's very naughty indeed.

But we can sleep easily knowing that S-T-T will be the first to report it whatever it. Stay tuned. And thanks S-T-T for this tremendous scoop! (For those unfamiliar with Moo Moo and Ya Ya, they appear in embryo in the final credits of Handbag Friends.)

Let's Sing The Handbag Song!

isn't it time?

yes, of course it is

(it's always time
because you just never know when
a not altogether friendly
very large
purple
handbag might be in the vicinity
lurking)

QUICK! Let's help those poor Handbag Friends and do what Harry says and sing! (dancing's allowed, too--but not so much running away and screaming).

first peas

here's poor Mr Griffin being fed his very first peas.

(CAUTION: this is a tale of bitter betrayal and dark parental badness and may be distressing for some viewers. Parental Guidance is advised.)

Here he is, first of all. Griffin. The innocent, trusting, beauteous child, look at him smiling up at us ...

How could he have known? How could he possibly have know?
How could he have had any idea what was at that very moment being prepared for him in the kitchen? What evil noxious poisons were being hatched by his own mother? And at that very moment, barreling down towards him?

... Only to have it thrust into his waiting mouth... a wicked GREEN (green I tell you!) foodstuff the like of which i have never in all my life tasted and never hope to taste ever after

maybe I can just hold them in here and then blow them out when they're not looking. or dribble them all out slowly from of the corners of my mouth

... horrid YUCK ick! why is my mother feeding me these. they're green. and i didn't ask for them. or expect them. or even know what they are. and i don't like them.

The question we at the FBAP (Friends of Babies Against Peas) are asking is: what did Griffin ever do to merit such cruel and unsual punishment? And wouldn't apple sauce have been more considerate?

Jago's illustrations

Here are some of my most favorite Jago illustrations from The Jesus Storybook Bible.

Check out more @ Jago's super cool portfolio.

scribble chairs

These aren't children's drawings. They're real-life, actual, sit on them chairs! Cool, eh? They're designed by Lucy Merchant, who lives in London, and they're made of steel rods.

Sort of looks like what chairs would be if you could just draw them into being. Like in the classic children's book, Harold and The Purple Crayon.

Hmm. And what about just speaking and having the whole universe appear? Or saying a word and stopping a storm?

exquisite corpses

exquisite corpses, as you probably know, is a game where the first person draws the head, folds the paper over (so that the second person can't see the head—only where the neck starts). The second person draws the torso and then folds that over, so that the third person drawing the legs can not see the torso or the head.

(exquisite corpses, so the blurb tells me, "was first created by the surrealists, André Breton, Max Ernst, Man Ray, Joan Miró, Yves Tanguy and others in the 1920s. Based on an old parlor game, it was played by several people, each of whom would write a phrase on a sheet of paper, fold the paper to conceal what she/he had just written, and pass it on to the next player for his or her contribution. The technique got its name from the first sentence created: 'Le cadavre exquis boira le vin nouveau' —”The exquisite corpse will drink the young wine”. The game was quickly adapted to drawing.")

anyway... my publisher, Schwartz & Wade Books, has created their own "exquisite corpses", working with their very own exquisite famous fabulous illustrators — including (of course) the exquisite famous fabulous Sue Heap, illustrator of HOW TO BE A BABY and HANDBAG FRIENDS! Some samples are shown here (other illustrators also shown here are: Barry Blitt, and G Brian Karas). I particularly enjoy those green hairy ballerina monster legs of Sue's!

Some of the other great artists involved include Barry Blitt, Christoph Niemann, Jerry Pinkney, Nancy Carpenter, Hanoch Piven, André Carrilho, Giselle Potter and several others.

They ran this promotion for librarians, and gave the original art away to be hung in schools throughout the country.

To check out the rest of them and have an exquisite giggle: click here!

Bible climbing bestseller list!

Look! Now we're climbing as well as moving and shaking! (See # 4)

(July list based on May sales)